Where did we leave off? Oh yes. Day 1 of Round 2. The start of another round, and the start of a 2 week drunk fest. I mean, you can’t blame me for wanting to self medicate! 100% I can tell you that being able to drink was the one good thing that came from not getting knocked up on the first round. Just kidding, obviously exaggerating, but you get what I mean.

Round 2 started very much the same as Round 1. You can read about Round 1 here. The difference with the first two weeks of Round 2 though is that they were very stressful. Way more stressful than the first round. Week 2 of Round 2 in fact was one of the most stressful anxiety ridden weeks I’ve had in QUITE some time. I normally thrive on stress, high pressure, and uncomfortable situations. (You know, sales) But Week 2 stacked stress on stress on stress on stress until I broke.

On Day 14, Insemination Day, my sister in law Natalie insisted that this wasn’t going to work if the magic happened alone in a windowless room again, so she and my two amazing nieces, Ivy (8 months) and Georgia (almost 3) came to give good vibes! Everything about Day 14 was different from Round 1. The room had a window. I had Natalie and my two nieces there. (As well as the NP, Nurse, and Student Doctor again of course) And this time, the sperm were dead.

My SIL Natalie really wanted to see the swimming spermies under the microscope like I was able to last time. If you remember, 20 minutes after the first round, they were still swimming like crazy under the microscope! This time, after the procedure, Natalie ran over to the microscope with the doctor, only to find a slide full of dead sperm. When they walked back into the room, I knew something was wrong. They both tried their hardest to convince me that they did everything right with the procedure and defrosting of the sperm, and just simply prepared the slide wrong. In my head though, I was convinced I was full of dead sperm. Making my week of stress climax in crazy.

The next morning, as I was about to explode and run away from home, I forced myself to attend a networking event at my amazing female networking organization, TEMPO, that was about emotional intelligence and mindfulness. It. Was. Kismet. At that moment I knew that if there was any chance there were any surviving sperm in me, they didn’t stand a chance with my stress hormones at the level they were at. So I read the book that the speaker recommended, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in my Head, Reduced Stress without Losing my Edge, and Found Self Help that Actually Works”, deleted all my social media apps, canceled all my plans for 2 weeks, and whipped out a few boxes of puzzles to do while I practiced my breathing and tried meditation.

When I started my two week social media hiatus and mindfulness exercise, I was so stressed I couldn’t even take a deep breath in. I literally couldn’t fill my belly with air and exhale. It took days of practice to be able to be able to actually breathe. As the two weeks went by, I focused on surrounding myself with people who loved me and who were completely on board with my baby making process, and was able to completely shut out the background noise.

I spent 2 weeks walking, sitting at Colectivo writing, doing jigsaw puzzles, watching sunsets, exploring downtown with Natalie and the girls. I went to happy hour with friends, ate and drank whatever I wanted without fear of getting “mom shamed” (When you’re as vocal about what you’re doing as I am, people are not afraid to share their opinions of what you *must* do (and not do) in order to get pregnant). Sushi and I went boating a few times with the family, I went to Summerfest with friends. I had SO much more time to relax, breath, and enjoy life without Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I thought I would be lonely, but plenty of my real people reached out to check on me via text or phone call. (Sidenote: this is really great to know because being a single mom, I’m going to need people to check on me to see if I’m alive before my child learns how to dial 911)

On Day 25, Natalie wanted me to pee on a stick. So I did. And it was white as a ghost. What do you think? Natalie swears she sees a line, I thought she was insane. One thing about IUI is that you shouldn’t test early because you take 10,000 cc’s of HCG in that trigger shot and it can take 14 days for all that extra HCG to get out of your system. When you pee on a stick, it measures your HCG levels. HCG happens when you are pregnant. On Day 26, I peed on a stick again, and nothing. Day 27, I was out of town and didn’t even bother to bring a stick with to pee on. I had cramps and *knew* I was going to get my period the next day.

Day 28, I woke up in the morning, was surprised to not have my period. (Hello clockwork uterus, where are you?) I peed on a cheapie dollar store stick (I didn’t want to waste the money on a good one, plus I had only had the two from earlier. Rookie!) and went to let my dog out on the roof. When i got back, I glanced at the stick, and then glanced again. I might have seen a fairly light line on this one. Natalie was convinced. My doctor sent me in for bloodwork and voila! The sperm weren’t dead.

It’s really too early to tell the world, but I’ve put it all out there and I’m a terrible liar so every time someone asks me if I’m pregnant, I can’t lie and I say yes. I’m remaining unemotional about it at this point as I’ve heard so many miscarriage stories and read that 1 out of 2 pregnancies end up in miscarriage. But you know me. If something happens, I’m just going to talk about it anyways! Lisa= No Filter. Anyhoo, Sushi is excited. She even tried on her new baby sister or brothers clothes while she chewed on the pee stick. (Don’t worry, it wasn’t the end I peed on.)

Thanks for joining me on this journey! I’ll keep you in the loop as I find out more.

Lisa