Holy Cannoli it’s getting close. I still feel amazing, with the exception of a few minor symptoms that popped up. I mean, small price to pay, and could be WAY worse but still, if you’re planning on doing this DIY baby stuff, you should know what you’re getting yourself into. I’ll tell you about the crummy stuff but let me tell you about some awesome stuff first!
I’ve only gained 13 pounds which makes me happy. I was hoping the baby would take the fat from my arms to create its life, but it has not done that. Good news is that the baby has not added any fat deposits to anywhere on my body except my protruding stomach. Also, zero stretch marks besides two little ones by my giant emergency appendix scar. I’ve been religiously rubbing my belly with this cocoa butter which my other pregnant friend suggested. It smells like dessert, so my dog follows me around sniffing me and I have to run away from her.
This may be TMI, but I have to tell you that my boobs are AMAZING. Actually, I’m sure this is too much information, but I guess your nipples (Yes gentleman, I said nipples) get darker so the baby can find them. That’s all I will say about that but, wow. It’s too bad I’m going through this pregnancy single. What a special gift to the dads out there during what could be a trying time. Good for you dads!
The baby moves all day long. Loves when I eat, drink, and sit still. I can see it moving when I look down, but the second I put a hand on my stomach to feel the kicks, the baby stops. Same goes for anyone. No one has been able to corner the baby, including me. This baby will be really shy, very easy to soothe, or a ninja.
There’re many other lovely wonderful things but let me hit on some of the not so great side effects I’m experiencing.
Holy acid reflux batman. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. I spent my entire babymoon on the beach in Fort Myers, Florida burping out loud (my poor friend Sara) and chewing on antacids. My chest and throat, the spot where you start to feel throw-uppy from, literally burned all day every day. You want to know what causes it you say? Oh, just water, ice water, any beverage, air, any food, spicy food, bland food, no food, too much food. That’s it. My doctor told me to take omeprazole every morning which has helped tremendously, unless I forget to take it. One time I took a sip of wine and it burned so bad I never want to drink wine again. True story.
Then there’s this strange pelvic bone pain that happens any time I stand in one place for a length of time or walk for too long. It feels like my pelvic bone is literally ripping apart. (I guess it’s called symphysis pubis diastasis (SPD)) So, then I have to squat for a while, unless I can find a chair, then I just sit for a while. This symptom is hard for me. I like walking. And standing. They are my favorite activities. Again, felt bad for my poor friend Sara on the Babymoon who has vacationed with me before and was used to long walks on the beach. This time they turned into short walks on the beach followed by me crouching into a squat and telling her to just leave me and go on without me. One time, I toured a client’s space for AN HOUR AND A HALF. The pain started at 15 minutes into the tour and because I refuse to let pregnancy cause me any setbacks at work or allow anyone to perceive me as anything other than a normal healthy human, I grimaced my way through and then sat in my car afterwards screaming until the pain subsided. I’m fine. It’s fine.
A new symptom that popped up last week that is blowing my mind is that I’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome. In my wrists and hands. Yup. WTF????? Apparently, this is a thing that happens????? I can’t even. I woke up one morning with the tips of my 3 fingers on my left hand numb for a while. Freaked out, phoned a friend, they said it was normal, then I hit the google research and can’t even. This may sound like a “my dog ate my homework” moment, but it has severely delayed my thank you card writing from the beautiful baby showers that have been thrown for me! I can only write a few, and then my wrist and hand are in too much pain and I must take a time out for a while. I know. You don’t believe me. You’ll have to look it up but… yeah. Wild.
I did a few flights in January and found out that congestion is a symptom. Blew my nose on the beach in Florida for a week. Blew my nose in Phoenix for a weekend. Spent a week in Texas for work blowing my nose the whole time. (Writing this now I see the upside is that I spent 15 of the 31 days of January in a warm climate) People would come up to me and sympathetically say… “Oh, you poor thing, you’re sick” and I would respond with, “No, apparently it’s just a side effect of pregnancy. Lots of extra mucus.” If you don’t like boogers, you won’t like being pregnant. Thank God I love boogers. The congestion won’t stop event though I’m grounded now. It’s affected my sleep. You know how I love my sleep. I can’t imagine what my neighbors must think as they listen to 3 HOURS AND 7 MINUTES of snoring.
Well, that’s it for the symptoms. Now I’m preparing for living my best alone life for the next 6 weeks. This is my list of activities to do. Feel free to give me suggestions that I haven’t thought of!
- Carry around only my keys, wallet and phone.
- Go to the casino and stay until the wee hours of the night.
- Sleep 14 hours strait every chance I get.
- Say yes to EVERYTHING without ever even considering I might have to pay for and arrange childcare to say yes in the future!
Wow, the possibilities are endless. Thanks for being on this journey with me!